Benedick Starts to Write

The Bicol Medical Center located in Panganiban Drive, Naga City is the only government owned tertiary hospital in the whole Camarines Sur, it’s OB ward located at the south  of the main building just a floor above the surgical ward caters to various patient from all over the region crowd in this 16 room ward seeking the most affordable medical attention, poverty and financial instability led this individuals to be taken care of in the goodwill of the government health care workers, and on a charity basis.

Simple and Short - Plain Basic Lack of Essential Nursing Services and Management. Why?

It’s one crowded place, two postpartum mothers sharing the same bed with only one sheet to use per patient (bed sheets may be released upon request but patients are not notified of such service) and this is a tertiary hospital.

I have no choice. No options worth taking. Time is almost due, the moment so critical is approaching and I cannot muster myself to take the path, for I must break again, for such a long time, never but yet again. What words must I say to stir this idle inside of me, to energize the flesh and commit the actions I should’ve made.

This shadow consumes me. Daylight is a step back away, a single turn.

Release me, guide me, and show me as you have done before.

I need you, I desperately need you.

[Having problems | Searching for Money]

There is definitely something, rather really interesting, being confused, anxious, and vague for a split second, only to resent after it passes. Then you stop, you wish to go back, do what you should have done, to turn around only to see it’s too late or by now too weak to continue.

How hard to come to a decision, even as temptation is immense, but would not fall, not yet.

Unfaithful, is it faith, its antagonist, being faithful what does it mean? Is it a tag to those who have been challenged, who made nearly such but chose not to, or those who have blinded themselves to forcefully abstain from their carnal self. Is it pure, if such how can one know if the contrary is not known without taint.

Exhausting for the answers, it eludes, how can it feel so right yet crush with guilt. Falling without resolution, surging all out of me, filling my veins with pleasure, I do not know if right or wrong or is it pain.

The moment comes… still uncertain.

This somewhat of a sting I have not felt for a long time, my lungs near my throat , no more than once in innocence… no, only to a single person no other…

Why do I feel it now? Why you? Why?

[12:30 PM February 4, 2009 | In house riddling]

whatever it is, i just feel lonely right now…